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1995-08-20
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3KB
Path: newserv.ksu.ksu.edu!moe.ksu.ksu.edu!vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!gatech!newsfeed.pitt.edu!uunet!newstf01.cr1.aol.com!search01.news.aol.com!not-for-mail
From: comoscott0@aol.com (ComoScott0)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: ST: TNG Lost Transcript Part 2
Date: 15 Jul 1994 18:06:08 -0400
Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
Lines: 65
Sender: news@search01.news.aol.com
Message-ID: <30718g$e2@search01.news.aol.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: search01.news.aol.com
<Data> "Apparently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module
named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity."
<Picard> "Let's wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can reduce their
functionality."
. . . Two Hours Pass . . .
<Riker> "Geordi, what's the status on the Borg?"
<Geordi> "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to
compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they
successfully increase resources I have setup our closest deep space
monitor beacon to transmit more 'windows' modules from something called
the 'Microsoft fun-pack'.
<Picard> "How much time will that buy us ?"
<Data> "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest
time span of 6 more hours."
<Geordi> "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."
<Picard> "Identify."
<Data> "It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo"
<Over the speakers> "THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP
MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS
SECTOR. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10
SECONDS"
<Data> "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released
thousands of humanoid shaped objects."
<Picard> "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft"
<Riker> "Good God captain! Those are humans floating straight toward the
Borg ship with no life support suits ! How can they survive the tortures
of deep space ?!"
<Data> "I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you will look
closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized
by twenty-first century man as doe-skin leather briefcases, and wearing
Armani suits"
<Riker and Picard together horrified> "Lawyers !!"
<Geordi> "It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling
into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening."
<Data> "True, but apparently some must have survived."
<Riker> "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with all
types of papers."
<Data> "I believe that is known in ancient vernacular as 'red tape'. It
often proves fatal."
<Riker> "They're tearing the Borg to pieces !"
<Picard> "Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to watch, not even the
Borg deserve that."